This past week caught me off guard. It got me thinking a lot about being 16 again... back when the Dorothy Hamill haircut was hot. It got me to look at how different my life is (in a good way) than when I was a teenager. An old high school flame tried to reconnect with me this week.
The emotions ran the gamut from startled, surprised, flattered, nervous and finished with uncomfortable. I vascillated back and forth about "it would be nice to see how his life has gone, what's the harm?" to "this was 30 years ago... what's the point?" It took a week of stalling the poor guy until this morning when I finally and cowardly left him a voice message when I knew he wouldn't be in the office... that I didn't think the phone call stuff was a good idea. I appreciated being thought of, but that I've moved light years away from being 16... I have a sweet man who I've been married to for 27 years, 5 great kids and a precious baby granddaughter, and no room in my life for walking down memory lane with old boyfriends. And that I wished him a happy life. I had this whole script of a phone message that I had rehearsed 50 times in my head... but I prayed beforehand that I would say just the right thing... and what came out of my mouth was about 33% of what I had prepared to say. But it was just exactly what needed to be said. I can't believe how relieved I felt after I left that voice mail... cowardly or not.
Happily putting my "almost 50 year old grammie" hat back on. Phew!
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